Staying Home

(A tad too close to home?  Well, it’s a bit of Maple Ave and Sudbury, I won’t deny, and a bit of me these days.)

 “We’re done here Mr. Goodrich!”  It was the guy in charge of the movers, Joey V, standing in the driveway.  Goodrich knew something like this was coming, a yell, or a voice from downstairs saying it was all over. He took slow steps over to the bedroom window and struggled to lift it.  The weather had been damp and these old wooden windows would stick.  He banged a bit with the palm of his hand on the upper rail and it stubbornly moved.  He banged some more allowing for an opening and leaned towards it.  “Thanks Joey!  We’ll see you in two days.”

“Two days, yeah” said Joey. “Oh, yeah, and Mr. Goodrich.  Wicked house you have!  I love these old places!”  With that he turned to squeeze himself into the moving van and then drove off.

Goodrich knocked down on the either side of the sash, left then right, and so was able to shimmy the window back down. He thought back to the time he’d tried to sand down the side jambs after taking out the old window and had to call in a carpenter to get it back in place.

He walked through the bedroom, sweeping dust bunnies into a bin, and pulled the crumpled punch list from his back pocket to see if anything in this room was left to do.  He looked fondly at a small crack in one window pane that he convinced the buyers shouldn’t be fixed.  “SPNEA came in and said it’s authentic, maybe as old has the house itself.  It’s really a treasure and you don’t want to do anything to challenge the historic commission,” he’d said. 

The buyer had traced the crack on the wavy pane with his finger.  “Humpf,” he’d said sounding dubious. “What’s SPIN_YA?” 

“SPNEA, the Society for the Preservation of New England Antiquities,” said Goodrich. “We wanted to keep the house as authentic as possible, you know, and brought them in when we first moved in to give us a sense of what we’ve got.  Here, let me show you something.”

The buyer followed Goodrich up to the door that led to the attic.  “See this.  That’s stenciling on horsehair plaster! They were testing it.  And look…..” he went up the stairs and held his hand up against the main beam. “This is hand hewn chestnut…you can see the adze marks and it’s as solid as they day they put it up.  Look, the original pegs.”

The buyer said, “That’s great, “ as he turned to go back down the steps and led himself into the bathroom where he set about turn on and off the faucets and flush the toilet.  He said, “and you get good pressure if more than one person’s got water running?”

“Yes,” said Goodrich.  “The pressure’s fine. We upgraded the plumbing in ’97.”

“1897 or 1997?” said the buyer with a smirk.  “I’ll bet its haunted.  You have to disclose that you know, drops the price, too. Ghosts, murders, that sort of thing.”

“No, no murders or ghosts that I’m aware of,” said Goodrich.

Goodrich continued to sweep even though the floor was clean.  He went into the closet for what must have been the 10th time that day, turning the light on, looking into the built-in drawers, and brushing the inside with his hands as if trying to find something.  He pulled them out as well looking in the dark recess.  For what?  For something he couldn’t leave behind?

He walked into the small bedroom on the left of the hall, the one that had been his first boy’s, Joshua, and started sweeping once again.  There was no need.  He pulled the broom along the wide pine floorboards tracing the scratch marks his son had made with his toy cars.  He opened the low cabinets to sweep inside those, noticing for the first time in years the chew marks their Labrador Rafter had made when he was a puppy and had long since been painted over many times.   With one sweep of the broom he heard something snap against the edge of shelf and put his hand inside to feel for what made the sound.  It was a little green plastic soldier, “Army man” his son would say, in the pose of throwing a hand grenade.  His son had dozens of those at one time, lost in backyard battles or tossed away as solders gave way to model planes and planes to guitars, guitars to books, and the books to Goodwill and the local put and take.

Goodrich’s fingers trembled a bit as he held the figure in both hands and smiled at the image of his son playing with these on the floor and flicking marble in the guise of cannonballs bowling through their ranks.   His son would wear all manner of headgear, from an old army helmet, to a Cub Scout cap, to a broad brimmed cowboy hat as he made up the battles being fought.

He put the soldier in his pocket.  Leaving he turned to look, once more, closing the door and then reopening it wide recalling that his son, when very young, wanted the door open to the hall light.   

He next went into the big room with the fireplace that had been Wes’s and where they all slept during the first big renovation.  The boys loved sleeping near the blazing fire, especially when they lost electricity in a storm, which happened with frequency before the generator was installed.  Goodrich started to sweep again, diligently and deliberately, though pretty sure he wasn’t getting any dust.  The cleaners had been quite thorough.

He went along the wide wainscoting that was, like so much, original to the house.  “Chestnut,” the historian from SPNEA had said, “My goodness, imagine the tree this came from.  Early 1800s if not older.”  Wes had carved his name in it, near the floor, and his birth date when he was seven.  At first Goodrich had been angry but his wife had admonished him. ”He’s added a bit of our history and I think that’s wonderful.”  Afterwards Goodrich carved all their names and birthdays low on the wainscoting and they would imagine kids 50, 100, years from then finding it and wondering who these people were.

He found a tiny ash in the fireplace and rubbed it between his fingers; he couldn’t remember the last time there’d been a fire in it but detected the smell of old wood smoke.   He put his hand on the mantle and bent over, getting on his knees, to feel around recalling the night they’d thrown some pennies into they blaze to see if they would melt.  Indian head pennies, they found in the attic.  “Treasure!” Josh had exclaimed.  “It’s all a treasure, Josh.  We live in a treasure chest!”

Goodrich continued from room to room, moving slowly, touching the walls, the guard rails, breathing in the woody mustiness and sensing it as if for the first time.  “Why didn’t I appreciate that before?” he asked himself.  “I should have bottled it.”

He eased down the front stairs, turning to look back from the lower landing, imagining the boys barreling down early on Christmas mornings to open gifts.  His eyes started to swell with the memories.  He swirled his hand in the air, “I wish I could wave a wand…”

He walked slowly down the main hall into the living room, the formal living room, which was never to be formal, with it’s four large windows that faced southeast and southwest and took in the morning and evening sun.  It, too, had a fireplace, a deep one with a crane that held a pot he once tried to boil maple sap in after Josh, or was it Wes, had read about maple syrup in a child’s book.  The sap had boiled but filled with ashes and covered the bricks in a sticky coating he’d spent hours cleaning up.   The boys loved it, however, and poured the syrup on snow to eat like pudding.

Goodrich swept this room as well, trying to take up the old needles nestled in the wide spaces between the floors boards.  He took up a pinch, about all he could get, and held them to his nose detecting the faint hint of balsam as he crunched the dried needles in his fingers.  Did they once make balsam tea?  Yes, it was a scout project for Josh; and it was awful.

He started to chew on some of the needles but quickly spit them out, bitter, dry they were, and swept the remnants into the fireplace.  He looked around thinking how empty it was.  He heard a scratching and thought about when they discovered a squirrel’s nest behind the fireplace, but it was only a holly bush by the window holding a cardinal on a branch.

Goodrich approached the window but it flew off.  “Off to your own nest your eminence!” he said with a smile.  “Off to the little ones.  Home you go!”

He went back around, one more time, and then to the kitchen, which too had a fireplace, a massive one you could walk into with a bread oven on the side.  He opened the cabinets and doors; clean as a whistle.  There wasn’t anything left for him to do; this was the first place he swept all that time ago.

He looked at his watch, and looked out the window to see shadows growing. Time to leave, the moment he had looked forward to once and now dreaded.  Another walk around?  Had he shut the lights off? 

Goodrich eyed the built -in bench by the fireplace where they had kept Rafter’s food and bowls, and then Barney’s after and  Aretoo’s later on.  He lifted the seat looking for something, forgot what he had in mind, and sat on it, leaning his arm on the counter.  He closed his eyes and thought back.

“Dad, dad!” yelled the little boy crawling on his lap.  “C’mon! We gonna open the presents.”  Joining him was the young yellow lab and a still younger boy, in a onsey that was getting a bit snug, both competing to get onto the bench.  “Dada, pleasants!”  The dog just licked the residual crumbs boys’ faces.

Goodrich rose as his wife came into the kitchen.  “A wee bit much last night?” she asked with raised eyebrows.  “Dad’s already in the living room demanding another cup of coffee.  I’ll get you one, too.  Let’s go.”

He grabbed the boys to him and let the dog lick his face as much as he liked.  “Let’s go?” he said to them.  “Let’s go?  Not a chance.  No, never.”

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